# Work By Referral by Brian Buffini: Why I Stopped Chasing Deals

> Source: [https://icharles.com/articles/work-by-referral-by-brian-buffini-why-i-stopped-chasing-deals](https://icharles.com/articles/work-by-referral-by-brian-buffini-why-i-stopped-chasing-deals) (canonical)
> Author: Chuck — iCharles, https://icharles.com
> Published: 2014-11-14 · Updated: 2026-07-07

## Why I picked this up

I'm turning six years in real estate in New York City, and until this book, I was what Buffini calls a transactional-slash-relational broker. I'd do the deal, stay friendly with the client after, and just kind of hope referrals showed up eventually. Nobody ever taught me a system for it. I've read a lot of real estate books at this point. This is the best one, not close.

## The pop-by, done right

The core tactic is simple and I've already started doing it. You show up at a past client's door with a small gift — nothing expensive — with a tag that says "was in the area." No pitch, no ask on the spot. Just a reminder that you exist and that you value them.

Then comes the handwritten card. I already write plenty of these, but Buffini's version has a specific line on the back: "I'm never too busy for your referrals." Then you follow up with a call. Three touches — gift, card, call — and every one of them is about the client, not about you closing another deal.

## The database math that changed how I spend my time

I've got somewhere around 200 to 250 people in my client database. Buffini's math says only about 10 of them will consistently send you referrals. Ten. Out of 250.

Once I read that, I stopped trying to stay in touch with everyone the same amount. Now the real energy — pop-bys, cards, calls, video updates — goes to the ten who actually refer. Everyone else still gets acknowledged, but those ten get the full treatment.

## Why referral has to be the system, not a hope

In New York City, the average person moves every six years. If you're purely transactional, you close one deal and then you're waiting six years for the next one from that same person. That's not a business. That's a lottery ticket.

The referral system is what fills that six-year gap. Every client you actually take care of after closing becomes a root system — they refer someone, that person refers someone else, and now you've got a tree instead of a single transaction. Buffini also gets into budgeting your money, which nobody teaches in real estate either, but the referral engine is the piece that actually rewired how I operate day to day.

## Who should read it

Any real estate agent, full stop. Doesn't matter if you've been doing this two years or twenty — nobody teaches this in the industry, and they should. But it's not really a real estate book. It's a referral book that happens to use real estate examples. Financial advisors, bankers, florists, hairdressers — any small business where a happy client is sitting on three more clients they'd send you if you just asked right — this applies to you.

If you're brand new and want a general overview of why small businesses succeed, Buffini's other book, "Taking Care of Business," is a fine $8 introduction. But if you only buy one, buy "Work by Referral." It's the one that's actually going to change what you do Monday morning.