# est: Playing the Game by Carl Frederick — Be, Do, Have

> Source: [https://icharles.com/articles/est-playing-the-game-by-carl-frederick-be-do-have](https://icharles.com/articles/est-playing-the-game-by-carl-frederick-be-do-have) (canonical)
> Author: Chuck — iCharles, https://icharles.com
> Published: 2015-09-15 · Updated: 2026-07-07

## Why I picked this one up

I've done Landmark Forum — the modern version of est — and the Advanced Course after it. Took me a year to actually sign up because everyone told me it was a cult. It's not. So when I found Carl Frederick's *est: Playing the Game the New Way* on my shelf next to Werner Erhard's own book, I picked it back up. Erhard founded est in the 70s, got run out of the country over a controversy involving his daughter, and the program he built quietly became the foundation for fifty-plus people you'd recognize as successful today. Frederick's book breaks down what est actually teaches, without the noise around Erhard himself.

## This book is not for everyone — and that's the point

First thing I'll say: don't buy this if you've never done any experiential work — no Landmark, no Sedona Method, no Tony Robbins, nothing like that. You'll read it and think it's nonsense. It's dense and existential in a way that only clicks if you've already sat in a room for three straight days doing the actual training, like I did. If you have, this book puts language to things you already felt but couldn't explain. If you haven't, skip it and go do the training first.

## Be, Do, Have — not the other way around

The idea that stuck with me hardest: most people think you get the tools, then do the work, then become the thing. Buy the camera, do the filming, become a director. Frederick flips it. You become the director first — you decide you are one — then you do what directors do, and only then do you have the title. Same with being an athlete. You don't win the trophy and then become an athlete. You decide you're an athlete, train and compete like one, and the trophy shows up after.

I run my business the same way now. I don't wait to "earn" the identity of founder before I act like one — I act like the founder I've already decided to be, and the results follow from that.

## You're not seeing reality — you're seeing your filter

Frederick's other big point: everything has meaning only because we put meaning on it. Gravity exists whether or not I have a word for it, but "this is a bad neighborhood" only exists because someone assigned that meaning to it. A guy who grew up in a mansion calls it home. A guy who grew up somewhere I'd call rough also calls it home. Same physical place, two completely different realities, because each person is running it through their own filter. Same with a sibling telling you as a kid you'll never amount to anything — if you believed that, you're filtering every opportunity through it for the rest of your life unless you catch it.

I use this constantly when I hit a setback in the business. I ask myself: is this actually a problem, or is it just the meaning I'm choosing to assign to it? Usually it's the second one.

## There's no such thing as trying

This one's blunt and I like it. You either take the book out of my hand or you don't — there's no "I'm trying to take the book out of your hand." Same with losing weight, starting a business, getting into a relationship:

- You either made the outreach calls, or you didn't.
- You either hit the number, or you didn't.
- You either did the workout, or you didn't.

"Trying" is a word people hide behind so they don't have to own the result. I've cut it out of how I talk to my team. It doesn't show up on a P&L.

## Who should actually read this

If you've never done a Landmark-style training, this book will read like word salad — save your money. But if you've already been through est, Landmark, the Advanced Course, or something in that family and want the philosophy behind it written down clearly, this is a 5 out of 5. I went in expecting a rehash of a controversial guy's program and came out with a framework — Be, Do, Have — that I still use to run my company today.